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Thursday, 21 July 2011

ME - ME - ME - ME - ME.

So recently I got a FS saying that my blog would be funner if it was a bit more personal.
Kinda thought my blog was already pretty personal, but no probs!
I have no problem in dedicating a whole blog post to yours truly.
I don't know exactly what I'm suppose to write to make this more personal, but everybody loves a trier. I've got some new pictures here and some old too. So I hope the baby version of me makes somebody laugh cause the cringiness of the outfits and me there working the bob my absolute hardest! ;)
I figure 10 fun honest facts all about me couldn't hurt. So I'm gonna do that, and post 10 of my favorite songs right now, and ten of my favorite personal pictures of all time. Number 10 is super popular today. And blah..sure we'll just see how it goes. :)
It's a start anyways. :) 
Keep reading. :)

Numero Uno.
I'm a very happy person.
I'm nearly always smiling and I always like to look on the bright side of life. The glass is full up to the brim...! Honestly it's probably a bit annoying at times but it comes naturally and I wouldn't have it any other way! Plus smiling is super healthy. And it's nice to show off the pearly whites every once in a while. Happy people are the best people to surround yourself by. I think we've all been through bad times and that's kinda imperative in order to be able to appreciate and enjoy the good times. When I was about 13 a really close friend of mine died in a total freak accident on a building site, and I saw the whole thing. It was really horrible. We'll call my friend X. After X died, I went through a really tough couple of months. It was really hard. Like seeing somebody who I was so close to, who was really young and fun and full of life just go, like that, blink of an eye. Day before he was supposed to start first year in Wilson Hospital School. After that I went through one of those really dark phases where you listen to music that hurts your ears. And you wear really heavy eyeliner all the time and all your clothes are black. And you start to consider self harm more and more every day. 

Until one day, a really close friend and I were talking.
And he looked at me with a big grin on his face, and asked me to smile. I just stared at him? My response? 'Smile? What's there to smile about?' That led into a big huge dmc which eventually forced me to realise how lucky I really was to be alive. Like the moral of the story in what happened to X was like the brevity of life. Split second type shit. You never know what can happen. So without trying to sound like a bebo skin from the olden days, Live every day like it's your last. You don't know what the fuck is around the corner. Just smile. Be happy. Flash the pearly whites. Seriously. A positive outlook can't hurt. Whatchuu' got to lose? Ever since then I haven't stopped smiling. I miss X everyday and I have to pass the place where he died every time I leave the house. But everything happens for a reason.

After X died, I went through all the horrible parts if grief. The part where you cry for a few days without stopping..the part where you don't really talk for a while blah blah blah. And I never wanna go through those feelings ever ever again. It's a harrowing experience and I'm done with it. Months after the sad shit went away I dreamt that after he died I wrote him a letter. And I attached it to a balloon so that he could see it up in heaven! I was 13 when I thought of that and it's a pretty childish idea but if I could go back I would have done it because it would have given me closure and shit. Oh well. At least it's a good idea. Really though, I'd love to know where it would have ended up.
R.I.P Josh.

Hmm...So we're getting there. This is pretty hard. I'm trying to stay as interesting as possible, I'm probably failing miserably so I won't blame you if you're on the verge of X'ing out of this post. Go 4 it. Anyways. Lets see. What next. Ummmm....
I'm a serial concert-goer. 
We're talking double digits per year.
God help my poor fathers MasterCard.
The amount of times I've gotten tickets on the sly...ridic.
This year alone I've seen Katy Perry, Script, Ke$ha, LMFAO, Then everybody @ Oxegen. Like genuinely I'd say I've been to at least 40 concerts in my 19 short years. I just love the buzz of a live band, especially when you know the words. The adrenaline after pushing your way to the top of the crowd, and you're two rows from the barriers of the 02. Must admit I don't really like queueing early for gigs but sometimes I guess it's gotta be done. EG. GAGA. So yeah, I'm pretty much a veteran when it comes to live music. I've seen Metallica, RHCP, Bloc Party, Coldplay, Lady GaGa, U2, S Club 7, Eminem, The Editors, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Razorlight, Florence&the Machine, David Guetta and probably loads more. I really could go on all night. Just realised this sounds like a total boast-fest and I've already went a bit too far but sure. I'll keep swimming. ;) Music is a third of my life. The air that I breathe. Seriously. Dying for Gags to arrange a few new dates here or in London so we can start getting excited. Cannot actually wait to experience the new album live. Like. Living and dying for it all at once. If you haven't bought 'Born This Way' yet, I urge you to do so. It's amazing in its entirety. Like fo' reallz. All JK's aside. Bloody Mary, Marry the Night, Bad Kids, Highway Unicorn and last but not least Heavy Metal Lover. AMAZE. I'm not just saying of this because I love her. Like for the musics sake, give those tracks a listen. HEART HEART HEART. Unreal. Anyways so yeah, on with the blog...

Okay. I'm thinking we should start delving in a little deeper than my music taste right about now. How about my personality.
Here goes...
I'm me. I'm a 19 year old girl in case that wasn't clear. I'm happy and loud and I love my friends, fashion and music. I'm a clingy motherfucker and if you give me your hand I'll never let go. I won't tell you everything because I like my privacy. I'm stupid because sometimes I'm wrong. I'm ugly because my face isn't perfect and I'm not the skinniest girl in town. I'm insecure just because I care about what my friends think about me. And I'm a bitch just because I like to tell the truth. It's so hard to be yourself these days. Like maybe I'm being a hypocrite but everybody's just so fucking judgemental. Doesn't really matter because I don't care what the fuck the strangers say. I love not giving a shit, its the important peoples opinions that truly matter. I love really strong close knit relationships where you know the other person inside out, like the back of your hand type shit. I'm a hopeless romantic and my favorite movie is The Notebook. Boys should always make the first move and they should always open the door/pull out the seat etc etc etc. I'm open minded and I live for the extraordinary like Patrick Kav back in the LC days. I heart nostalgia and looking back on the good times that were once had. And I prefer to surround myself with people who find me completely hilarious. ;) I dream too much and sometimes it all crashes down. Then my friends come and build it all back it up again and them we smile and walk to Lidl for sweets and chocolate croissants. I make my best decisions while in the shower and I have a really bad habit of being the most over analytical person ever in the world ever ever ever ever. Sometimes I try to think about the colours in the world that don't already exist yet. I try to create them. But then I forget what they look like. So I spend half my life on facebook instead. Liars and fakes and racists and homophobes make me angry and as far as I'm concerned there's nothing that a bottle of lucozade and a twister can't cure. (My ultimate hangover cure)I love wearing big loose boy hoodies and when I'm upset I eat way too much. And if you haven't already come to the conclusion that I could talk for Ireland...well then..ehh...hmm..well...I dunno maybe you're just not really paying attn? 

I love cheeky people.
I find the people who get the most out of you are the ones you get the most out of. The ones who push you with a smile on their face. I'm not saying I dislike shy people but I just don't see the point in sitting in a corner being all quiet and coy and lonely when you could be having an amazing time showing off your sparkly personality. Then again most of you are probably shouting at the computer screen about the fact that I'm a fucking idiot who talks too much so fuck you.....LOL. Seriously though, if you're not confident just fake it. It always works. Honestly what's the worst that can happen? You'll get shut down? Access denied? Okay that's for the next part of the post. But yeah, fuck it. Just talk and go for it and be happy and fuck it if you get rejected. Can't say you didn't try, am I right? Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in the world. Honestly, if you were in a room full of strangers, who are you most likely to sway towards for conversation or hospitality? The friendly girl whose full of chat or the mouse in the corner counting her phone contacts/texting her mom/playing snake. BINGO. So yeah. Fuck being shy. GO 4 IT. You're one in a million and if people don't see that then then that's their problem.
(Not too still obey Irish civil law and stuff...)

There are two things I hate more than anything else is the world and I think you'll agree when I say that both REJECTION&CHANGE are two of the most traumatic pricks you'll ever come across in this life. Change can be good sometimes because obviously as time goes by it needs to happen. That being said, I can't stand life changes..obviously I'm gonna embrace the positive things like moving to Dublin for College and living on my own two feet for nine months out of the year. These are not only positive changes in any persons life, but they are just a taster of the independence and craic and general good time that will be had in the future. Changes in relationships or routines however are the dickheads I was talking about. EG. When you wake up and your lovely mother has decided shes gonna change around all the presses in the the sauces and herbs and spices are all where the plates and cups and bowls used to be. And the plates and the cups and the bowls are nowhere to be found. And you really are dying for some crunchy nut feast. And to make matters worse Moms switched from Avonmore to a new brand of milk and you're just not feeling it whatsoever. And then your whole day is already ruined.
Or when your best friend tells you he's moving house. 
Really sad times. However, change is just a mild obstacle to challenge us, to make us more sure, more strong and more resilient. Whether it be getting used to the sick Tesco milk, or your best friends new address. These are obstacles we must all overcome young grasshoppa's. YOU CAN DO IT TOO WITH KANDOOO.

Rejection requires no explanation. Nobody likes knowing that they're not wanted. It hurts. Cause at the end of the day, whether you wanna admit it or not, call me cringy, but everybody wants to be wanted and loved and all that jazz. You know I'm right. No man is an island and craic. Anyways, moving on to 6...

How weird is it that I lived beside the park hotel before it was even built?
Like look?
It was just a big pile of wood stacked on top of each other?
Even weird for me looking back on it...

Another random stat about me is that I would literally be lost without my mother. I know everybody would. Genuinely though, she does everything for me. She buys the groceries. She cleans up my messes. She is ALWAYS honest and is never selfish with her advice. She has my best interests 100% of the time and I might not appreciate her every single minute of the day but wow she's amazing. When my stuff goes missing she's the only one who can find it, and she's the only person I know will always love and understand me no matter what! I would do anything for her or the rest of my family and I know the feeling is mutual. 

Me and my Momma :) Isn't she a model? :) Unreal jumpsuit on her in the 90's like..:)

Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs.
Sometimes I get really angry about society and the world we live in. If you eat,you're fat. If you don't eat you're anorexic. You drink you're an alcoholic. You don't drink and you're a pussy. You read and you're a nerd, you don't read and you're stupid. You tell a secret you're an attn seeker, you don't read your still looking for attn. You let someone in you're easy, you don't and then you're uptight. You smoke, you think you're cool. You don't and you're a loser. You had sex, you're a slut, you haven't had sex and you're a frigid little bitch. You wear makeup and you're fake. You don't wear makeup and then you're ugly. You can't please anybody so what's the point in trying? Makes me so angry. :/

8 lil' piggies went 2 the market..
I want to live in NYC for a year after college.
Scratch that, I'm going to be living in NYC for at least one year after I finish college since I have free accomadation etc. ALL I NEED IS MAA TICKET BITCHEZZZZZZ.
And I want to spend a Summer in France working in a beautiful art gallery near the Eiffel Tower so I can stare at all the beautiful tourist boys all day munching down on croissants and baguettes with their berets in toe.
And I want to eat a slice of Pizza that's actually been made in Italy because my favorite food is Italian.
And I would love to go to Hawaii and learn to do the Hula dance with all my besties and get an amazing tan. I wanna see the world and soak it all in slowly. Like a sponge really. I wanna go snorkling and bungee jumping and all of the amazing stuff.
And takes all the pictures and show them off on my blog. Might even use disposables since they're amazing these days. Seriously though. I wanna go everywhere and taste the rainbow. I've been to America obvz, Poland, Belgium, Germany agus sin e! Quite a random list of countries but sure ya can't say I'm not cultured anyways that's fo' sho'. PS. Hiya South of France with my bezzer come the end of August. :) Cannot wait to be twischt au francais.

There were 9 brown bottles of beer on the wall...9 brown bottles of beer...
We're nearing the end folks...
Sigh of relief from all of your computers..awkward)
Okay so after a paragraph on Travel, Future projection is on the mind. Where will I be in 20 years? Or where do I hope to be in 20 years? Well let's see...

Obviously I want to still have the same friends,
Five of them in particular MUST be in my life or else I'll be in a mental institution or the like. So please stick around to the ones who know who they are. That's all kinda to be expected..but what'll be different in 20 years?

So I'll be 39.
And hopefully I'll be married to the love of my life. We'll live in a beautiful villa in Italy where everyone's gorgeous and the sun never sleeps. The heat will always swelter and our tans will never fade. Our children, Josh and Alex (girl) will speak fluent Italian and they'll both have beautiful brown eyes.
I want to be truly madly deeply in love with a tall, dark and handsome motherfucker. I want him to be really good at his job. And to care about me as deeply as I do for him. And he'll always be super thoughtful and caring and always remember the dog food, I won't be a very good cook but I'll always try and dinner will be ready for him most days when he's home from work. The kids will have piano lessons and we'll go for walks and gondola rides and I'll never forget his birthday.

I'll work part time for a fashion/music magazine and I'll be an amazing bi-lingual journalist fluent in italian/german/french.
I'll have my own clothing line and it will be uber cheap and super chic. And I'll still have time to go to see my babies in school plays and bring Alex to buy her first bra and buy her makeup and all the fun shit. And I'll be at all Josh'es soccer matches or chess tournaments or whatever he's into. I can't wait to be married and have kiddies. For a while I had a warped idea that I'd adopt children around the age of five with my hubby when the time was right but that was a bit silly considering my reasons were simply because of a fear of actually allowing a child to slide down the runway below my pelvis and into the big bad world.

So yeah.
It's not like I've thought about this, or I've got any crazy mad expectations for the future.
Ah no but honestly I don't really care what happens as long as I'm madly in love and I have my health and my friends and fam! It was a nice story though...?!


So were here.
It's the final call.
Ready to call it quits.
Fair fucks to you reading my shite for this long..
Two hours later and we're here like.

So this is the final bit of me...
So all I'm gonna say is..
I hate endings so I'd rather finish and continue another time when it's not 4am. It's not that I'm trying to be a tease or a buzzkill. Just hate finishing up. So I'll do it another time. :)
I love you guys.
Thanks for listening to me.
Night sexy babies.
ex oh ex oh.

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